Within every parent is the desire
to lay down their head in confidence,
knowing they loved their child
better than the day before.
The chronic exhaustion
bred by the rat race of a stable career,
five-percent, matched 401k’s,
and the anticipated option to refinance
all motivate a parent.
But the great prize is closing the car door
to the jubilation in your open arms and toddling feet,
announcing that “dada”,
the one you haven’t seen yet today,
is finally home.
And in my pursuit to
watch you lay your head down in confidence,
knowing your heart is more content tonight
than it was the last,
I’m burdened to say that until now,
I’ve done you a disservice.
In the sweetness of your soul
finding its own place in this world,
I’ll always regret
every shout of impatience,
every frustrated, sleepless night,
and every moment of distracted attention.
The agony of seeing your fragile heart
temporarily shatter at the hand
of my own frailty will never fade.
But in this moment in time,
I have come to the realization that
one of my greatest sins toward you
is leaving behind the wonder
your world is filled with.
Before your birth,
a man was lost to the stale state
of exploration we call contentment.
And through this one man’s death,
you entered into wonder alone.
May this be the resurrection
of the man who once questioned
why the gentleman who sat across the gazebo
in a pin-striped suit
didn’t have a ring on his finger,
knowing such a man’s attempt
to woo a woman no more or less
radiant than one he’d take for his own,
exceeded the maturity in that of
a first, second or hundredth date;
May this be the revival
of the man who experimented
with the stroke of his pen
because he believed there was
as much value in each letter’s form
as in the choice of words themselves.
May this be the renewal
of the man who once found himself
perched at the heights of a junk yard,
far removed from any consequence
of his midnight trespassing,
abandoned in the curiosity
of the lives a singular, rusted
train car carried, as it fell resigned
amidst nothing of its kind.
May this be the rebirth of the man
who eagerly awaits to
usher you into the labyrinth
of a pondering mind,
for nothing more than to demonstrate to you
there’s nothing but beauty
in this world - this life
if you take the time to look for it.